I searched for a while on how to level up after 30, and the content lacks diversity of thought and image. Watch any of the big femininity or level up youtube channels, and they all give light to those in their 20s. Being 30 seems to make you washed up and over the hill.

Once you hit 30, it’s the same song and dance that you are washed up, and you must be in tip-top shape to be worthy of any man’s time. Our society has always favored the young. We do everything to stay forever young, from Botox to Lipo to hair dye. Aging in our society is seen as a defect in a person, especially a woman.

My 20’s weren’t ideal at all. I ran from a hard childhood into a world with no instructional manual. I went to college, worked to survive, and battled depression hard. I attempted to lose the weight, but when you let things go unchecked, they will come out in other ways.

Now in my 30s, I found that much of the world thought of me as a has-been, and I should resign myself to the plight of being a dusty muling woman. Being dusty isn’t a goal if you are new to leveling up.

She is more comfortable in her masculine energy if she dates down engaging with the less desirable men, i.e., no to low earner, multiple kids, and possibly a criminal record. She is a mammy type who doesn’t care about her appearance, whether she is overweight or doesn’t invest in herself.

I have always wanted to be with higher society types; however, years of trauma prohibited my best version of self from flourishing. I allowed myself to follow the work hard, get a bunch of degrees, and you too will be worthy. Looking at my life, I see how not having proper advice or anyone in my corner led me astray.

How to Level up: The Journey

I want to share how to level up by sharing my journey. My story isn’t pretty, but diamonds are all over it. Starting in 2018, I began the level-up process. I lost some weight, started dressing up more, and put myself out there.

I didn’t get the results I desired. No dates, no fancy trips, no wonderful life. To add more complexity, I traveled for work weekly, making me curl back into my introverted cocoon of safety.

Restating my journey in 2019, I took a different approach with logic. But, first, I had to come to grips with myself about what was possible for me. Am I someone who will be able to marry a millionaire? Am I someone who will be able to date a man, period?

I came to this hard notion, why did I want this so much? Is it to fix the inner pain of growing up poor? Is changing yourself something you really value, or is it just to be seen? I share this part of how to level up as many are oblivious to their inner self, slowing you down. Knowing you’re why makes all the difference.

Dior Gloss and Chill

Those questions sparked a deep self-reflection period for me. I finally had to admit part of my zest wasn’t for the betterment of me but to soothe my ego. It’s hard not to see the girls of IG with their designer lives and not want some of that for yourself. So it’s not far-fetched to see things and think, why can’t I partake in such, am I not deserving?

After much anguish and a few cupcakes, I had to reposition my mind on what was important to me. First, I adore being healthy and the gift it is to have full agency over your body. Being healthy is a mark of true self-value.

I had to look within and see that leveling up without all the sensationalized imagery is ensuring the best version of self is living in the world. This made me look deeper than the surface. Yes, looking cute and being seen as desirable is great, but who are you really? Being big on self-development, I re-focused on my pursuit.

I am still very deep into the journey of leveling up after 30. It has challenged me in more ways than I thought. On the surface, I felt, oh, if I drop weight and spruce up, everything will fall into place. But unfortunately, the mindset one holds is hyper indicative of their success.

If you feel your unworthy of being provided for or just making an investment in your life, then all your work is pointless.

The more I invested in myself and removed myself from negative ideals, the easier it became to invest in the outer me. I know my physical is just one of many positives of me.

Happily ever after??

I want to end this post with some encouragement. If you want to change, you are the only one that can do it. It may seem hard or unnatural. You may feel like a fish out of water, and people may inquire about you. But, girl, why are you so worried about how you look, especially if you are one who didn’t focus on such in the past.

As I mentioned in this post, you are not washed up because you are older or went on a different path. So, I want you to understand that you have set some things in motion when you say I want better. But, unfortunately, people have a vested stance on keeping you the way you are for their comfort!

As I got deeper into my journey, which is a lifelong journey, I got remarks that I was being snobby or arrogant. That my head was in the clouds because I would turn down going out because I needed to work out or that I took time to do my makeup each morning before work, those in my life had gotten accustomed to good ole trusty Christian; she is always there to help and will sacrifice herself for others. The moment you say no more, people become upset.

This will be continued, as I want to go even deeper on the mindset of leveling up but one that isn’t so getting the bag obsessed. You are the bag, now getting the lifestyle of ease that’s a target with a great plan that can be accomplished!

To be continued…