Burnout, especially burnout in women, is a subject everyone is really acquainted with these days. I have written about it a few times; you can find those here. There are coaches now focused on helping you be all you can be with burnout. In the corporate world, your ability to suppress is called maturity, and being a woman means you are not linear, which often pushes women throughout their lives, but even more so those who hit their final stage of womanhood.
Often, when women don't know who they are, as society does a really great job of constantly giving a moving target, you will burn out fast out of a deep need for validation. Validation then can provide an olive branch of safety. When we become beyond exhausted, we, on a subconscious level, understand why, but the conscious mind will kick in out of a safety warning.
Who am I to say that how I'm being treated is wrong? What will happen if I do respond with truth I have bills to pay? What will people think of me if I say that how things are going isn't truly nourishing? We will remain stagnant, not out of lack of skills, but out of fear of the consequences.
Burnout in Women
In a past post, I mentioned how misogyny impacts all, but today I want to be direct about how it impacts women in the workplace and how it boosts burnout. We live in a patriarchal society that is powered by capitalism. Women often opt into the girl-boss mentality, which I often see as a tech bro in pink. This co-optation is a survival tactic, as we often hear that women are emotional vs men. In order to climb the corporate tightrope, women often will take on a persona of policing other women and punishing them for their existence if they aren't aligned.
Misogyny creates conditions that make women's burnout distinct. Women aren't just expected to produce. They're expected to produce while nurturing, emotionally regulating others, remaining likable, attractive, agreeable, and endlessly accommodating. The exhaustion isn't simply from working out of alignment but from overperforming.
When you are a woman who operates more in her feminine or even teeters more on the integrated way, you will find the work environment hostile unless you suppress and also put on the big cosplay act. When we operate for decades outside of our organic nature, we burn out fast. Once we finally have no choice but to see reality, we are faced with a hard choice: continue or pivot?
In all my past jobs, I have not been able to be myself, leaving me to mask for more than half the day, 5 days a week. The fear of homelessness often supersedes my desire for human dignity and respect. However, the most damning is that this also impacts your ability to move into new chapters, as burnout isn't just some cutesy word; it has real-life physical damage.
I want to leave you with this question: Are your days leaving you so exhausted that you can't even fathom thinking beyond Where is my wine glass? This is in no way meant to shame you, as having a realistic view can help you feel supported in your next chapter.
If you want to work to improve compliance in a life that you have outgrown, sign up for a 15-minute consultation to see if we are aligned.