In this world, choices feel plentiful to the point we become overwhelmed. As soon as you open your eyes in the morning, you are met with choices. Do I get up and move with my day or do I sleep in? Do I open my email or meditate? Do I do my skincare or start working before I even have water? Those tiny choices build strength for wider choices like remaining silent when you see the writing on the wall.
Choices as a woman can produce immense tension, as choices are often rooted in what one wants for their reality. For instance, you could choose to quit your job, but that would impact your family or ability to meet financial obligations, aka rent or mortgage, unless you have a nice safety net. You want people to like you, so you say yes when your gut says no. Or, on a more serious note, you choose not to actively seek out new opportunities, as it would mean having to upgrade your self-image in the world.
Choices scare us as they often require you to take on your sovereignty. Do I make a fuss at work about the culture or do I just remain silent in hopes I can ride the wave? Do I propose better solutions based on my years of insight and my innate intuition, or do I continue playing small? Playing small is also a choice that we make, as in the past, being expansive has come with a cost, be it my income or my life.
Recently, a question was posed for reflection: how long have I been working in some variation, which took me down a very interesting path. After working for 3 decades, I have encountered more not-so-great work experiences than great ones and can see how, over time, my choices began to only be based on survival instead of thriving. There is endless information out there on scaling up your career as a woman, but none truly takes into account the impact of your choices and how, at times, one can feel risk-averse to making them.
3 ways to make choices for your best life
1. Make a choice on your personal ethics
Ethics is often thrown around like parsley in the career world to posture some amazing executive presence. In my coaching, I always ground clients in developing their own ethics, as this is the core red thread one will always come back to when deciding whether they made the right choice.
Your ethics are something very unique to your lived experience and what you value. I can not give you those, as one needs to do some deep reflection. For my life, one of my biggest ethics is honesty. In the past, I have had to shrink myself in jobs to try and keep a job. However, as I have gotten older, I have started to be more blunt in how I share information. It's a risk, but at the end of the day, when we leave this life, I want to look at myself with pride vs. embarrassment for being some spineless woman.
2. Examine the full consequence of inaction
The longer you allow yourself to suppress, the more you invest in the suppression of your body. Over the years, that will compound and can have some serious consequences. As someone who is different in a lot of ways, I have seen firsthand in my own life and that of my clients those who put invisible duct tape to their mouths instead of making choices.
There is no judgment in doing this, as society isn't made equal, and for many, the psychological safety is lacking in their lives. I can imagine if I had a deep safety net, I would have voiced concerns or made choices to end roles that were not for my highest good. Sometimes, in our hyper-empty yet positive learning society, we spin a virtuous tale about how things are mere challenges and make you better. In some respects
3. Embrace vulnerability
We live in a world that praises the happy choices to betray self for the sake of marriage or a job. However, embracing the vulnerable parts of self allows us to make the choices we need vs what others need. When I think of vulnerability, I think of the inner child, and how if we were protecting a child, we would make different choices to give them the best shot at success. The same goes for us in making choices.
I always think those who quit jobs that, on the surface, are the dream jobs and titles but, in reality, are a cluster and toxic. Some lose out on money, but if you're too unwell mentally or physically, you don't get to enjoy the money anyway. I'm currently living with chronic illness that is exacerbated by not living in a way that is best suited for me, but not having a trust fund to take the leap makes me have to make smaller choices in order to persevere.
Choices are what make new realities
The reality you are currently living is a sum of the choices you have made in life. Some may not feel like you made them because there was only one option that seemed viable. You get the opportunity to pivot your life when you begin asking yourself why you chose what you do. Sometimes we may be surprised by the reflection of why. Fear is often a big driver, along with survival. I mentioned that the 1st way to build a greater life is having your ethics, as this is the core for evaluating whether your choices will shape your ideal reality.
I want to leave with this thought: Are the choices I'm making in my life today something I would be proud of tomorrow? This doesn't have to be some radical humanity path; it could be: am I proud of not advocating for myself or being honest with those I work with? Am I comfortable in shrinking so that I can feel ok in the illusion of power and safety? In 2026, women have made great advancements, but outdated thought loops and experiences can keep us playing in outdated roles and making ourselves ill.
While meditating recently, the vision of how I expand and lengthen while stretching allows me more comfort. I believe some of the anxiety we feel today is our bodies needing more space to hold us, but the energy has no place to move, so it feels very dense and uncomfortable. If you have ever been in a coach seat on a 4-hour flight, that squeeze does not allow you to show up as your best self.
If you're ready to make the first choice of a more enriching reality, book a 15-minute consultation to begin the strategy for your best life yet.