Let's be real—getting older as a woman can be challenging. Society’s hierarchy often values youthful beauty, and the fear-mongering around aging kicks in hard once you hit 30. But as we grow, we must release external judgments and tune into our inner voices. In this post, we’re diving into the art of aging beautifully, focusing on enhancing natural beauty after 35 and embodying true confidence. Ultimately, abundance resides in feeling comfortable in your own skin.
The Reality of Aging and Beauty
In our society, beauty is often treated as currency. Those perceived as beautiful get material benefits—whether it’s lavish dates, gifts, or positive attention. Unfortunately, this narrative can make the aging process feel like a loss. As we age, our bodies naturally change; we experience weight shifts, wrinkles, and greying hair. These changes don’t mean we lose value; instead, they offer an opportunity to redefine what beauty means. The shift is in our self-perception—embracing and evolving our definitions of beauty to stay aligned with who we are.
Enhancing Your Natural Beauty Over 35
I believe in empowering women to embrace their authentic selves, whether that means enhancing their natural features or choosing to age naturally. There’s a lot of judgment around beauty choices for women—whether they opt for cosmetic enhancements or go the “age gracefully” route. I focus on enhancing my natural features, which can mean investing in skincare, using makeup suited to my skin’s current needs, and appreciating my unique qualities.
Investing in quality skincare is one of the best ways to enhance your natural beauty. For me, this has meant consulting a dermatologist to find the right prescription-strength treatments. I've found that adapting my makeup and skincare routine is key as my skin changes. For example, I have switched from ultra-matte foundations to more satin finishes to enhance my youthful glow. Experimenting with different textures and glow-enhancing products has helped me feel radiant and embrace my unique beauty.
Makeup and Beauty Routines That Evolve
As we age, makeup and beauty routines should evolve with our skin’s needs. Choosing products that enhance your features without hiding them is essential to feeling empowered in your skin. I’ve let go of heavy, matte products and moved towards makeup that illuminates my skin rather than covering it up. Find what makes you feel vibrant and joyful—beauty is a celebration, not a mask.
Releasing the Pressure of Society’s Beauty Standards
One of the most essential lessons in aging gracefully is releasing the pressure to conform to society’s unrealistic beauty standards. Constantly striving to look younger can lead to excessive cosmetic procedures and dissatisfaction. Aging is natural and, as I see it, a privilege. Embracing this perspective can help you shift from external validation to internal acceptance. Let go of what others think and focus on what makes *you* feel beautiful, radiant, and at peace.
As we age, body changes like weight gain or shifts in weight distribution are normal. Embracing these changes by finding clothes that fit well and enhance your shape can be transformative. This is the time to experiment with fashion and find pieces that make you feel beautiful and powerful, regardless of size or shape. Don’t wait to wear what you love—enjoy fashion that reflects who you are today.
For me, this has been the most exciting time in fashion. I’ve let go of waiting to reach a specific size and started to embrace clothing that fits and flatters my body as it is now. Wearing outfits that make me feel deliciously confident has helped me embody my feminine essence and feel alive in my skin.
Embracing Aging: Redefine Beauty at Every Age
Aging doesn’t mean losing your style or vibrancy. It’s a journey that can lead to greater self-discovery and empowerment. We don’t have to succumb to the outdated stereotypes of being "matronly" or "frumpy" in our gs, 50s, and beyond. I created a video with tips on avoiding a frumpy look, which you can watch for more inspiration on aging beautifully and stylishly.
Remember, aging is an ongoing journey of self-discovery. Don’t be afraid to embrace the beauty and confidence that comes with it. Comment below and share how you feel about aging—let’s start a conversation about redefining beauty at every stage.
This weight loss journey has been a lifelong process. I have been on a diet since I was 8. I dreamed of summer break, losing all the weight, and becoming the "it girl." All the bullying would stop, and I’d be wanted in the cool kid crew. Being poor would not be such a scarlet letter.
Now, in my adult years, I have had to work hard to shed weight, with stress and the complexities of feminine transition at play. Striving to be beautiful and my best self, my journey over the past two years has gifted me profound lessons. I hope these spark a light in your life, too.
Weight Loss Journey Gems
1. Until I Embrace Myself in Totality, I Will Not See Fully
My weight loss journey has been about far more than what I ate or how often I exercised. It’s been an emotional and spiritual awakening—a reckoning with the parts of myself I once believed were unworthy of love, softness, or attention.
For years, I treated certain aspects of who I was as liabilities. I thought that if I could discipline myself enough—cut out my emotional eating, suppress my insecurities, and shrink my body—I would finally become the best version of myself. But what I didn’t realize was that this constant striving was rooted in shame.
Shame taught me that softness was weakness. Those flaws were to be hidden. That my body, when it held weight, when it changed, when it responded to trauma, was a problem to fix. In truth, my body was never the problem. It was the mirror. And what it reflected back was a soul aching to be accepted as she was.
At one point, I had a powerful realization: My body held on to extra weight as a form of protection.
It wasn’t laziness or failure—it was wisdom. It was a survival response, the result of unspoken grief, emotional depletion, and the belief that visibility meant vulnerability. That insight shifted everything.
This moment marked a turning point in my weight loss journey—not because I suddenly lost a bunch of weight, but because I finally saw myself clearly—not the polished, performance-based self I thought the world needed, but the raw, layered, deeply sensitive woman beneath it all.
2. Food, Weight, and Image Were Never the Issue—The Shadow Was
Cutting out so much of myself due to shame created a quiet storm inside me—one that brewed over time into deep, unspoken resentment. Every part of me I tried to silence or reshape to be "acceptable" only deepened the divide within.
It wasn’t just about weight. It was about the layers beneath it.
Constantly performing for society’s approval—whether through appearance, achievement, or perfection—meant I lived in a fragmented identity. I showed the world what I thought was palatable while pushing my pain, anger, softness, and joy into the shadows.
These orphaned parts of me—my shadow—were never the enemy. They were the parts that carried the truth I wasn’t ready to hold.
The hyper-fixation on the number on the scale, the compulsive way I checked my reflection, and the never-ending cycle of dieting… it wasn’t vanity. It was a desperate attempt to feel in control of something. Food became both punishment and reward, both escape and comfort. It was the only space I allowed myself to feel.
Realizing this has been one of the most liberating moments of my weight loss journey.
Not because it led to immediate change, but because it gave me a new starting point that wasn’t rooted in shame.
The Courage to Look Inward
Confronting my shadow has required immense courage. It means standing face-to-face with the pain I avoided through food, overwork, people-pleasing, and perfectionism.
But this confrontation hasn’t destroyed me—it has revealed me.
It’s shown me how powerful I am when I stop running. It’s taught me that healing doesn’t always look like progress on the outside—it often looks like softness, rest, release. It’s helped me understand that true transformation happens at the root, not in the mirror.
This is the work that supports lasting change—the kind of change where your body doesn’t have to be at war with your spirit, where food becomes nourishment again, not a battleground, and where movement becomes an act of gratitude, not a punishment.
3. Investing in Self Is Wonderful When It Comes from Self-Love
I’m all for improving your reality—elevating your life, refining your habits, and investing in your wellness. But I’ve learned something crucial: when those efforts are driven by insecurity or shame, they rarely flourish.
For a long time, I pushed myself under the guise of “discipline,” but beneath it was fear—fear of not being desirable, not being enough, not being worthy. That kind of motivation burns hot and fast, but it doesn’t sustain. It doesn’t heal.
Recently, I had to reevaluate my entire weight loss journey due to changes in my insurance coverage. At first, I was devastated. I had worked so hard, made so much progress, and it felt like I was losing ground.
But what I see now is that this disruption was divine. It forced me to pause and question my attachment to the outcome. It brought up the parts of me that still tied my worth to results. And it gave me a new opening: an opportunity to meet myself more gently and let go of the hidden insecurities I was still carrying.
This isn’t about giving up—it's about realigning.
It’s about choosing to move forward, not from pressure, but from love. We do not need to fix ourselves; we are finally ready to care for ourselves differently.
Your True Self Is Worth the Work
In sharing these lessons, I hope to inspire you to embrace yourjourney, though imperfect it may feel. To honor the parts of yourself you’ve hidden, questioned, or tried to shed. To see your shadow not as a flaw, but as a gateway to wholeness.
Real wellness, real transformation, begins with the courage to look inward.
So, whether you’re in a season of change, stuck in frustration, or just starting to explore what self-love means, I want to remind you: You are worthy now. Not twenty pounds from now. Not when you’ve figured it all out. Now.
Your path to joy, radiance, and fulfillment starts with that truth.
This isn’t just about weight loss—it’s about remembering and reclaiming the woman you truly are—the one who is layered and luminous, soft and strong, evolving and eternal.
Here’s to becoming her. Here’s to your highest self
As women, our bodies go through many changes, and one of the most significant transitions is Perimenopause. If you’re in your late 20s or early 30s, it’s crucial to start preparing for this phase by learning from those who have already experienced it. Here are some essential tips to help you navigate this journey confidently and gracefully.
1. Learn from the Experiences of Women in Their 30s and 40s
One of the most empowering ways to prepare for perimenopause is by having open conversations with women who have already walked through it. There’s a wealth of wisdom in their lived experience—insights that no article or doctor’s office brochure can fully capture. Yet, many of these women stay silent, not out of shame, but because society tends to marginalize women over 35, treating their evolution as something to be hidden rather than honored.
But you have the power to change that narrative.
Reach out to your mother, aunt, a colleague, or a trusted friend and ask the deeper questions. What caught them off guard? How did their body change? What emotional or spiritual shifts did they notice? How did it affect their confidence, relationships, or professional identity?
These stories are not just preparation—they’re mirrors. They offer perspective, connection, and the reassurance that you are not alone in what can sometimes feel like an isolating transition.
By inviting these conversations, you give other women permission to be seen. And in doing so, you equip yourself with real, grounded knowledge that allows you to enter your own perimenopausal journey with grace, curiosity, and strength.
Perimenopause isn’t the end of vitality—it’s the beginning of a new relationship with your body and your power. Listen, learn, and lean into the collective wisdom of womanhood.
I’m not a doctor, but I strongly advocate for regular check-ups with a gender-informed gynecologist, especially as you approach your late 30s and beyond. The truth is, not every medical professional is fully attuned to the early signs of perimenopause. Many women are brushed off or misdiagnosed simply because their symptoms don’t align with outdated assumptions or age-based stereotypes.
That’s why it’s so important to find a knowledgeable, proactive, compassionate provider—someone who listens to your concerns, understands the hormonal and emotional nuances of this stage, and takes your experience seriously.
Don’t wait until the symptoms become disruptive. Things like sleep disturbances, mood shifts, irregular periods, or unexpected weight gain might seem unrelated, but they could all be signs your body is transitioning. Early detection and understanding can be game-changers. With the proper support, you can manage your symptoms more clearly, confidently, and with care.
Advocating for your health is a radical act of self-respect. You deserve a provider who walks beside you as a partner, not someone who dismisses your voice. Your well-being is worth the extra effort, and so are you—no difference in managing symptoms.
3. The Benefits of Elix
While I’m not one to push products, I have to give a shoutout to Elix. This brand uses Chinese medicine to create balance in a woman’s body, which is crucial during Perimenopause. It took a few months, but within three months, I noticed significant changes. My monthly cycles became calmer, my mind more relaxed, and my energy levels stabilized. A year later, I can genuinely say that Elix has been a game-changer.
4. Releasing Rigid Beliefs
Growing up, I was conditioned to measure my worth by how much I could produce, how hard I could push, and how tirelessly I could perform. Productivity became my currency for acceptance—both in the world and, truthfully, within myself.
But as Perimenopause set in, something shifted. The pace I once sustained so effortlessly became harder to maintain. Tasks that once energized me began to feel heavy. My body demanded rest, my emotions surfaced urgently, and my mind struggled to keep up. What followed was a wave of frustration, shame, and depression, not just because I felt like I was falling behind, but because I had internalized the belief that slowing down meant I was somehow less valuable.
This season of change forced me to sit with discomfort and ask some more profound questions: Who am I without the constant doing? Can I still love and honor myself if I’m not constantly producing?
The answer, I’ve learned, is yes—but only if I’m willing to reframe my thoughts and release the rigid beliefs that no longer serve me.
Our minds are like nutrients. The thoughts we think either nourish our lives or quietly deplete us. If your inner dialogue is steeped in harsh expectations and self-criticism, no amount of outer success will feel like enough. But when you begin to plant seeds of compassion, gentleness, and self-worth that isn’t tied to output, something remarkable happens: you begin to bloom from within.
Perimenopause isn’t the end of your value—it’s a sacred invitation to redefine it. It’s a call to honor the wisdom you've gained, to create space for joy and rest, and to find new ways to affirm your worth beyond titles, deadlines, and to-do lists.
You are allowed to evolve, let go, and create a new relationship with yourself—one that values presence over performance and being over burnout.
This shift isn’t easy, but it is powerful. And it just might be the most liberating part of your journey yet.
This year, I noticed increased anxiety and dehydration, and the culprit was coffee. I used to drink one cup a day but had to quit cold turkey. Now, I’m navigating life on pure vibes, and it’s been a refreshing change. Pay attention to how different foods and drinks affect your body and make adjustments as needed.
Conclusion
Perimenopause is a profound and sacred transition that invites us to slow down, listen inward, and realign with our true selves. With the proper preparation and a mindset rooted in self-compassion, you can navigate this chapter smoothly and powerfully. Start by seeking wisdom from women who’ve walked this path before you. When shared in safe and honest spaces, their stories offer practical insight and emotional validation.
Prioritize your health with intention. From scheduling regular checkups with a gender-informed gynecologist to exploring supportive supplements like Elix, tending to your well-being is an act of self-respect. This is also the perfect time to release outdated beliefs, especially those that tie your value to youth, hustle, or appearance. You are not here to shrink or prove. You are here to expand, evolve, and honor the fullness of your womanhood.
Be mindful of what you consume—not just food and media but thoughts, conversations, and environments. Everything you take in either fuels your flourishing or drains your energy. Choose with discernment.
Most importantly, embrace this journey with confidence and grace. Perimenopause isn’t something to fear—it’s a portal into more profound wisdom, self-love, and a richer life experience. You are not unraveling; you are becoming.
Here’s to meeting yourself in a new way—and discovering that this version of you is wiser, softer, and more radiant than ever before.
Depression often feels heavier during the seasonal shift from fall to winter, making intentional self-care for depression more essential than ever. As the days grow shorter and a cool crispness fills the air, I find myself in the bittersweet embrace of my favorite season — one that mirrors the inner complexities I’ve learned to live with.
Even as the season changes, life doesn’t pause. The routines of work, family, and household responsibilities — from grocery runs to endless laundry — continue, regardless of how heavy things feel inside. This is when depression can quietly take root, gradually dimming our inner light as the daylight fades.
Acknowledging Depression and Taking the First Step
Mental health can be a quiet companion — often unspoken, sometimes denied, but always present. In my own journey, I’ve learned that self-care for depression is not a luxury; it’s survival. Depression can show up in subtle ways — the inability to feel excited in the morning or the mental fog that doesn’t lift. When these patterns reappear, it’s a signal to tune in and take intentional steps to regain stability.
Below, I’m sharing self-care practices that have helped me find balance and light, even in the darkest moments.
1. Practice Mindfulness to Reconnect
Gentle mindfulness techniques like meditation, breathwork, or yoga can help soothe the nervous system and ground your thoughts. These practices help quiet the mental noise that depression often amplifies. Try short, consistent sessions to begin — even five minutes a day can shift your emotional baseline.
Depression can affect appetite, digestion, and food choices. Focus on simple, nourishing meals that offer warmth and stability. Whole foods like soups, root vegetables, and herbal teas can be comforting. Eating regularly, even when you don’t feel hungry, is a form of self-respect.
3. Establish a Supportive Routine
Routine offers predictability — a powerful antidote to the chaos depression brings. A structured day doesn’t have to be rigid. Start small: waking up and going to bed at the same time, taking a walk each morning, or setting aside 10 minutes for journaling. These anchors help create stability amid emotional waves.
4. Engage in Creative Expression
Creativity can be healing when words fail. Writing, painting, music, or even dancing in your kitchen can serve as emotional outlets. There’s no need for perfection — the goal is expression, not performance.
5. Set Gentle, Realistic Goals
When you’re dealing with depression, even brushing your teeth can feel monumental. Setting one small, achievable goal each day can build confidence. Progress isn’t linear, and that’s okay. Celebrate every step, no matter how small.
6. Embrace Nature’s Healing Power
Spending time in nature is a proven mood booster. Whether it’s a walk through a park, sitting under a tree, or simply feeling the breeze, reconnecting with the natural world can regulate mood and reset your nervous system.
7. Monitor Your Inner Dialogue
Depression often distorts self-perception. Listen to how you speak to yourself. Are your thoughts kind or critical? Practice self-compassion, and when the inner critic shows up, gently redirect your thoughts toward empathy and truth.
8. Build a Circle of Support
You don’t have to do this alone. Reaching out to a trusted friend, mentor, or mental health professional is an act of courage. Human connection is a key part of effective self-care for depression, even when isolation feels tempting.
9. Know When to Seek Professional Help
If your depression deepens or you feel overwhelmed, professional help is essential. Therapists, counselors, and support groups provide tools and perspectives that can make a significant difference. Seeking help is not weakness — it’s wisdom.
Final Thoughts
Self-care for depression is not about perfection — it’s about presence. Meeting yourself with grace during hard times can become a powerful source of healing. Some days will feel heavy. Some may feel light. Both are part of the journey.
Be patient. Honor your progress. And remember: even in the darkness, you are not alone.
Self-help often promises transformation—a better body, a clearer mind, a more successful life. But what if the real breakthrough doesn’t come from another course or checklist but from learning to sit with yourself and finally say, “I am enough, right now”?
In my journey, I’ve read the books, followed the routines, and listened to the experts. For years, I believed that I’d unlock the best version of myself with just a little more effort. But after nearly two decades of searching, I realized that maybe I wasn’t meant to be fixed. Maybe I was just meant to be understood.
Self Help vs. Self-Acceptance: Knowing the Difference
The line between self-help and self-rejection is often paper-thin. After a challenging period in college, I felt broken, like a fixer-upper project constantly under construction. I poured myself into productivity hacks, charm-building strategies, and endless routines that promised I’d become more lovable, disciplined, and impressive.
But deep down, it felt exhausting. Each new tool, while momentarily exciting, left me emptier than before — like chasing a mirage. I wondered: What if the goal wasn’t to become more, but to feel safe being myself?
How Self-Help Culture Can Quietly Undermine Your Confidence
After stepping away from the noise — no more podcasts, webinars, or self-development plans — I entered what I now call my “spiritual hermit phase.” Without the pressure to perform, I began to see myself truly.
And what I saw wasn’t someone broken. It was someone tired of proving her worth.
Despite its many benefits, self-help culture can subtly reinforce the idea that you’re always a project in need of fixing. This mindset can mirror toxic relationships, where love is conditional, progress is never enough, and stillness feels unsafe. When we internalize these messages, we develop a fragmented relationship with ourselves.
You wouldn’t thrive in a friendship where you were barely tolerated. So why expect your soul to blossom under constant self-correction?
Self Help Isn't the Enemy — But It's Not the Only Path
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue growth. I still believe in tools that support emotional wellness, discipline, and purpose. But the purpose of growth is integration, not erasure.
Self-help is most potent when it’s rooted in self-acceptance — when the goal isn’t to become someone else, but to embody who you already are fully.
You are not behind. You are not a problem to solve. You are someone to meet — deeply, softly, and without conditions.
A Self-Help Alternative: Try These Self-Acceptance Prompts
To shift from fixing to embracing, try these introspective exercises:
What part of yourself do you try to hide or change most often?
Who told you that part of you wasn’t good enough?
What might happen if you showed up as if you already belonged?
These are not easy questions, but they’re honest. And honesty is where healing begins.
Let the emotions come. They are not signs of weakness — they are signs that you’re waking up to your truth.
In 2024, Let’s Shift from Self Help to Self Trust
This year, instead of reinventing yourself, try remembering yourself.
The people we admire for their confidence or glow aren’t flawless—they’re often just at peace with who they are. They’ve chosen to integrate rather than overcompensate, and that self-trust becomes magnetic.
Let’s make 2024 the year of wholeness. The year you look in the mirror and stop scanning for flaws. The year you speak kindly to yourself. The year you understand that peace doesn’t come from becoming “better,” but from becoming home to yourself.
Share your story:
What’s one part of yourself you're learning to accept this year? I’d love to hear your reflections in the comments.
Owning gifts can feel scary in a world that seems only to reward one way. While reading a book called The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer, he joked that writing a book on acknowledging our limits would make a boring book, but to me, it piqued my nerdy interest. In our society, we wear overworking like the newest designer purse, ensuring everyone sees. Anyone who desires a life with boundaries and regular rest is told they are lazy. As mentioned in this post, the hustle culture is the core pain point in many of our burned-out lives.
Quitting has been a hot topic lately, and I found it quite humorous, as this isn't some new phenomenon. Many people for decades have been disengaged by their work, yet the fundamental need to have income in a society that discards you if you don't is ever-present. In light of the past few years, many people are unhappy with the life they created, often out of necessity, and are pushing back on tone-deaf employers. Many people, unfortunately, can't make loud protests, so it happens covertly and passively. When you have bills to pay yet struggle, the passive doing only the bare minimum is a coping mechanism for working outside one's limitations.
Understanding your limitations provides you with freedom. Limits are boundaries that guide us in how to engage with people and places. From my project manager's perspective, limitations provide the scope of our lives. If you quickly scroll through motivational content, much of it screams that you are the limit. However, we all have our gifts, and they make us no higher or lower in society's scale.
Now, what society may hold dear is fleeting at best, and often, we are chasing the stamp of societal approval. For instance, many women pursuing their careers burn themselves out by trying to be all things to all people, partly due to societal standards that don't embrace women in the workplace but still demand them to tend to the home exclusively.
When researching the term limitations, the definition of limited ability, a defect or failing, appeared. When you're trying to outrun failure, as it has such a negative connotation, we are burning ourselves out unconsciously. If you derive your worth outside of yourself, you will always be enslaved to going outside your limits to a fault.
Some limitations are self-imposed that we use to self-protect in society. Understanding and acknowledging one's limits allows us to operate in the way we are designed optimally. For example, if you're moving and trying to fit a sofa in your 2-door sedan, you will run into issues as it operates outside its limits. Limits are placed on various things we use outside to prevent possible injury.
Acknowledging your unique needs provides you with all the tools you need to craft an enjoyable and rich life. For instance, when you are well-rested, your perspective changes, and your ability to make connections is sharper. The increased visibility of mental health and other health breakdowns in society indicates how we have crafted an unsustainable lifestyle, yet are unwilling to acknowledge and rail against our design.
Much of our refusal is due to various ideologies in the world and the need to do more to make ourselves seem shiny and valuable and thus protected. As great as technological advances are, we are languishing behind, as we are constantly unable to keep up. In my life, I have found that operating within your gifts helps alleviate stress and allows you to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Understanding your gifts allows you to show up more engaged
When you're doing something you enjoy, you can get lost in it. I have worked with many people over the years, and it's never lost on me that it's almost infectious when working with someone excited about their work. When you operate from gifting, you will be able to find solutions and become even more efficient in your area of expertise.
Embracing your gifts allows for mediocrity to fall
My natural talent is speaking, and it comes effortlessly. I get excited at large crowds, and it just amps me up more to perform well. Technical difficulty or any issues that may pop up don't stop the show. Working within areas outside my limits always felt like a chore and was suffocating, requiring me much more downtime, which often wasn't great as I constantly dreaded having to work again. Embracing what I'm truly good at limits opportunities; however, it enhances the opportunities I seek as I know I can show up fully.
Embracing limits allows for joy
When you waste time doing things outside your wheelhouse, you miss opportunities to use your time in the areas you do well. For example, I recently had to remove myself from a project as I found my skills weren't up to the task. In the past, I would continue to flounder and make a mess of things; however, knowing when to quit and pivot helps me see my limits and reroute quicker. This takes a realistic assessment of your skills and also a comfortable ego.
You should feel empowered to push yourself and know where to stop. A disciplined person understands that I can either put more effort into something that isn't made for me or use my gift correctly. It may be hard in a society that pushes maxing out everything; however, focusing actively on your life should be your heart's desire. When you know your capacity, you can enjoy it and live the life you desire, no matter who approves.
